How Apple will fix the iPhone 4 with software

I posted this to Twitter, but it felt like now was a good time to give the image a better home. Seriously, fixing this issue cannot be done via software.

Like magic, I move my hand just a bit during a conversation, and my phone calls vanish! I must always be on guard against my tendency to try to grip my slippery phone, or buy a bulky, overly expensive, and difficult-to-obtain case.

And a case would not fix the face-dialing issue that has gone completely unrecognized by Apple. It happens to me on 2 out of 3 calls: I’ll dial a number, switch to speakerphone, or just hang up on my call.

Gruber may not believe we exist, but there are those of us that cannot make or receive calls properly. I may hate the clunkiness of Android phones, but (face-dialing aside) the iPhone 4 drops calls with alarming regularity. That’s embarrassing on business calls, and chuck-your-phone-through-a-window maddening when on a dial-in conference call. I’d be sad to downgrade to my (still unsold) 3GS, but it’s honestly tempting.

We’ll see what Friday brings.

The iPhone bombshell and the loss of perspective

This lost-and-found iPhone story has kind of made very one associated with it a little insane.

The editors at Gizmodo have absolutely lost my respect, by paying for a “scoop”, when their legal and ethical obligation was to report the missing phone to the police. Engadget simply lost the bidding war and tried their best to capitalize. And for what?

Check out this tweet by Marco Arment. There’s not a dollar amount they can draw from this that would justify the cost, in time, effort, and lawyers, that this is likely to bring. But, driven by the “gotta be first” mentality of tech blogging, they ignored all semblance of journalistic integrity and busted out the checkbook.

Worse, when the shit hit the fan, they detailed the plight of the Apple employee, name, picture, and all, that they themselves caused, then making a disingenuous offer to return the phone.

And again I ask, for what? To steal pageviews FROM YOURSELVES on the day of the inevitable upcoming reveal. I’m sickened by the way this has been handled, but more confused as to why no one seems to have been using their brains. I can only surmise that those involved saw that rarest of beasts, the Apple prototype, and lost their shit.

And then, the New York Times found an analyst who opined that he’d “rather be anyone else in the world” than this Apple employee. Really? The world is a big place full of suffering people, and here we have a guy who has raised Steve Jobs’s ire.

I‘ve sat in a deposition room while being grilled by an Apple lawyer who was sent by an angry Steve Jobs. The lawyer twisted every email, document, and snippet into an insane, madhouse version of the facts, and even insinuated that I had gone to work for Apple as a spy. And hey, I’m still here. And I could even be an Apple employee again someday (not bloody likely, but I could).

My point is that this clumsy guy isn’t going to die of Pissed Off Steve Jobs. He may be fired, and then he’ll have the world’s best cover letter for his next job application. Let’s save some of this worrying for the people who really deserve it.

I don’t know what to do about Gizmodo, though. I would support a boycott if one were proposed, but I lack the influence to put it together myself. John Gruber, I’m looking at you.

Apple’s bringing sexy back.

iPhone 4G? Are we not calling it the iPhone HD yet? That nomenclature is beyond confusing, because, unlike the iPods, whose generations we stopped counting around 5.5, the 3G iPhone is named after the network, and is only a second-gen device. In addition, the “4G iPhone” doesn’t seem to actually function on 4G networks.

That rant aside, it’s been a big day for nerds. Setting aside the douchetacular way this has been handled by the blog networks (until my next post, anyway), the thoroughly unofficial unveiling of the iPhone HD is exciting stuff.

Facts first: this is the new iPhone. No Apple prototype makes it that far into the field without it being a production sample. Seams and all. WYSIWYG.

Apple was keen on showing off how the new iMac’s screen has an “infinity edge”, like a trendy bathtub. Of course, it’s all aesthetic; under the infinite expanse of glass is a bezel as thick as ever. Still, this edge-to-edge glass is a welcome replacement for my endlessly scratchable (and dated-feeling) chrome bezel.

The glass back is stunning. Many are saying it’ll carry a signal upgrade, but someone will have to explain to me how glass or high-gloss ceramic is more radio transparent than plastic.

No. What this represents is Apple realigning function with form, after letting function run the show for two years.

When the iPhone was announced, it wasn’t just a shiny new gadget. It was a tiny, sexy monolith. Aluminum was slippery and impaired the signal, but not the signal it sent to your brain (and your friends): I own a premium device.

The 3G changed that. Much like comparing the 1G iPod with its eventual descendants, you get the sense that the latter devices were meant for mass production and consumption, with all its unsexy signs.

The iPhone 3G seems to accept that its eventual destination is a landfill, from the chintzier chrome buttons to the hollow sound of its thin plastic casing. For me, it’s enough to pine for the original, premium iPhone. For some crazies, it’s enough to custom-fabricate titanium replacement casings.

Some are calling the new iPhone an honorary Dieter-Rams-Era-Braun design, and I’m inclined to agree. It’s elegant, minimal, and every part seems to have been thought through in great detail. I love the simple, glass-aluminum-glass sandwich, the buttons, everything.

I also love that it’s thinner and flat: It can’t hide it’s bulk by tapering at the edges (which even the iPad does). It is what it is.

Some are saying that the battery is now user-replaceable, which makes sense. Apple loves to let third parties set up cottage industries around their products’ shortcomings, only to yank the rug out from under them in one surprise reveal.

Make no mistake: Apple has noticed that the only people not making money on iPhone batteries is Apple. They’d be all too happy to sell you a spare battery or two with your iPhone at $69 a pop.

That means that all those battery-case hybrids are three times irrelevant: they don’t fit, the iPhone needs less protection, and there’s no need for a dock-blocking (heh) battery backpack.

Speaking of case manufacturers, I’m so glad to be rid of invisible shields I could burst. I loathe those things. They cheapen the look and feel of my iPhone, discolor almost immediately, and turn into used Band-Aids in a matter of weeks. But the scratch-prone plastic case makes them an absolute necessity. The worst part is that they add $40 to the cost of every single iPhone I buy. Now, with a glass front and back, they’re toast.

The high-res screen was a gimme. I’m wondering how that’s going to work, though. Sure, existing software will look the same, but will developers need to create 3 versions of apps: 1 for iPhone, 1 for iPhone HD, and 1 for iPad? I’m sure Apple has an answer waiting in the wings as to how this isn’t going to fragment the market and create hell for developers.

For my part, going from using my iPad and my wife’s Droid makes the resolution on my iPhone feel downright woeful. At this point, it’s more of a “fix” than a feature to me.

I hope the front-facing camera does more than video chat. I don’t use it on my computer, And I don’t anticipate using it on my iPhone that often. It’s novel, but it’ll be up to the software to make it useful. And iChat just isn’t all that useful. (Now Skype, on the other hand…)

LED flash: super meh. Those are only useful in the absolutely most dire circumstance. I can’t wait to hear Scott Forstall get all bug-eyed and declare a new gold rush on LED flashlight apps.

The microSIM tells me that Verizon customers shouldn’t get their hopes up for a simultaneous launch with the AT&T version. Maybe someday. Maybe. On the other hand, Apple is punching AT&T in the face repeatedly with the iPad 3G “pay as you go, then stop paying whenever you want, easily” plan. That relationship sounds strained, at best.

I am satisfied enough by the iPad that I’m in no hurry for a higher-res iphone browsing experience, but the device itself. Oh my gosh, so sexy. It’s everything I miss about the original iPhone, stepped up.

June can’t come fast enough.